also my accent apparently makes people think I’m from Maryland or somewhere in the northeast, and I’m like, I was born either in this city or another one about an hour from here, and haven’t lived outside the state in my life. wtf, accent?


ugh, customers…


fixed bacon and set off the smoke alarm. shit.


The problem with being an adult is that I can’t ask my dad to fix me some bacon for breakfast, he’s all like “you get up and make your own bacon” and “hey can you hand me that soda that’s like ten feet away”


also this one guy was like ‘oh hey I got a question to ask you later’ and I couldn’t get a hold of him because I had to leave work to pick up my dad and like.. what is this question? do you want my Xbox gamertag? are you gonna ask me out? do you want to know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?


I’m honestly surprised that in the five months I’ve worked retail (at a grocery store) that I haven’t gotten any horrible customers. Maybe it’s because it’s the South? or my general air of :3 whenever I’m working? weird.


I keep accidentally blowing up the Marines with me with plasma grenades. Oops?


Ate a couple hot dogs! Unfortunately had to put on pants to fix them, but you can’t have everything.


parents keep calling me out to give details for something boring, taxes or mom’s retirement or something and i’m like goddammit I don’t wanna put on a shirt because this is shirtless gaming time


I wanna find out what it feels like when someone blows a raspberry against your tummy… Someone come to my house so I can find out!